changed by you

Anonymous asked: So tell me, what would you say to someone being in the confusing situation of falling in love with a very good friend? On one hand, I'm tempted to ignore the feeling because this friendship is really precious to me, on the other hand I can't stop thinking about him and I can't stop missing his presence either. What he may think of it, I have no idea, and no idea of how to ask him either. Have you got any advice for me?

You should always fall in love with your best friend if you ask me :) But, maybe I’m biased because of my relationship with Megan. If you have feelings for him, go for it. Love is worth it. If he doesn’t feel the same the one thing you’ll always know is that you tried, and that he’ll always be in your life if you want him to be.

Anonymous asked: I've been watching you guys on DA and it's beautiful to see how happy you both are, and so lovely how you are sharing that with the world.
But of late I've really been wondering how you make it work...
I've just gotten together with a guy from my hometown... which is now 2000 ks away...I go back once or twice a year. or have until now... and it's hard already, almost like being in two places at once... but you seem to manage it beautifully and with grace...
how? <3

Haha we hardly handle it gracefully or beautifully. We will both be the first to admit that a long distance relationship is difficult. You aren’t able to see each other as often as regular couples, so communication is absolutely vital. If you don’t stay connected with the other person, it can ruin the relationship because you’ll grow apart. It really does feel like being in two places at once. Especially in different time zones. But if you work at it, and care for the other person enough, it is entirely worth it. Getting to know a person purely through conversation, video chat and constant talking tells you much more about a person than you might have learned if you were right there next to them because you HAVE to focus on the conversation itself, on the content of their words instead of merely their presence or physical existence. Megan and I talk constantly by texting at minimum, and call each other throughout the day, even talking on messengers while we are at work. Video chatting on Skype is another great way to stay connected and make it all feel real. We talk from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep, but we are also understanding of the individual time and schedules of each other so that we don’t disrupt each others lives too. It’s a thin balance, and it sounds like a lot of work, because it is. But when you love someone as much as we love each other it doesn’t feel like work. And after awhile it isn’t work. It’s how you keep in contact with your best friend and lover. And when we get the chance we spend the money to fly out and see each other. It’s fantastic. And it makes those moments together all the more precious.

-Tony

Anonymous asked: Do you think that there is someone out there for everyone? And why?

i do, actually. i think there is someone out there who will perfectly match all of your different nuances. who will love you for your complications, not in spite of them. that person is worth waiting for and worth all the trouble it takes to get to them.

xoxo,
megan

Anonymous asked: So... let's say that there is this person that catches your eye.
You feel an incredibly strong attraction to them, and feel as though you could become something amazing with them. Have something beautiful together, to put it simply. And so you go up to them and try to get to know them as a person. That's not incredibly strange, is it?
So, as the days go by, you notice them backing off.
Eventually it gets to the point where that person finds out that you are into them. That person messages you on facebook and lets you know that they are not interested in a relationship, that they are just focusing on school and they like being single.
And you still can't get them out of your head, off your mind, you still can't shake the feeling of something so amazing disappearing.
What would you suggest to someone in this situation? Would you tell them to move on, or would you tell them try and keep in touch? And if the other person that your friend was interested in wasn't reciprocating, what would you suggest?

i would say that in a situation like that there is no harm in keeping in touch, but it is probably best to back off a little and focus on your own life. they have made it pretty clear that they aren’t looking for that right now. now, that doesn’t mean they won’t want it in time, but for now, it’s probably best to not push the subject.  i wouldn’t say to give up hope though. hope is beautiful.

xoxo,
megan

you know, I wish I could say being in a long distance relationship is easy. it would be so wonderful to lie to everyone and say that it is no different from every other relationship…but I can’t lie. it is difficult. it is really, really difficult. I go sometimes eight weeks without seeing him. now that my internet has crashed at my house, I get to video chat with him once a week while sitting in the middle of a crowded starbucks. and it is difficult and painful and tiring.

when all you want is just one touch, one kiss, one glance, it is difficult. my days are spent counting the weeks, days, hours, minutes until I’m with him again. it is like constantly running a race and not knowing for sure where the finish line is.

but, despite all that. despite the loneliness and falling asleep cradling a phone and the tears and frustration…he is so worth it. when I am tired, he makes me laugh and it gives me the strength to fight through another day. when I am not sure if I can keep living this way, he says my name in the way only he says it and I know that I would rather live like this for years than be able to have someone else living close. he is everything. he is my sun, my center of gravity, my light. so, I will keep running and keep fighting until the day we finally collapse on the finish line.

because we are worth it all.

Anonymous asked: This isn't really a question more then it is a statement:
I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years. It ended, but when I see you both being so happy and in love like you are, it gives me hope. I wish you luck for your future, and thank you for giving people some kind of hope for the future, and for love. <3

aw, i am soso sorry, love :[ i am glad to know this blog helped though, that’s what i really wanted when i started it. i know how difficult long distance relationships are, but they are also extremely worth it with the right people. i hope you continue having hope.

xoxo,
megan

Anonymous asked: I don't particularly have a question to ask I just want to say: HURRAY FOR YOU TWO :D

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and he's just moved to Japan for a year to study. As I live in the UK this places him about 5000 miles away from me. However, we're going strong and it just proves how strong we are. :) Your blog also helps show the non-believers that long distance WORKS. :)

Good luck for the future!
x

aw, thank you! it is definitely not easy, but not impossible by any means. you just have to be willing to put the work into it. i’m glad to you and your boyfriend are going strong. good luck!

xoxo,
megan

Anonymous asked: So I know you both met each other like 5 months ago on deviantART and it all kind of snowballed from there, but how exactly did you "meet"? Did one of you comment on the other's work or something like that? I'm curious, after all I've seen and heard from you guys it's hard to imagine that you guys were ever anything but tony and megan together. :)

ah, we love to talk about this honestly, haha. i think our first point of contact was in…middle of 2009? tony left me a formspring comment about how i was woooonderful and he was sure i lived super far away. so i was sort of curious, and i checked out his formspring and his dA. and i was like …uhm, hi. you’re really cute and i love your writing and just wow. but again, he was some guy on the internet and i didn’t really think much of it. probably because i was in a pretty bad place emotionally. then he started commenting more and more on my stuff and i started reading his work. i finally hit rock bottom one night and was in this terrible place, and for some reason, he was the person i thought of. so i asked him if he wanted to collaborate on a piece of writing. which we did. i fell asleep writing with him, and when i woke up the next morning, i was much happier than i had been in a long time. we began to talk more after. through formspring and dA comments/notes. just all damn day. i’d check it during work, and i found out later he’d sneak his laptop into work to keep talking to me. we finally started talking on AIM and then we exchanged cell numbers. i called him that afternoon and shocked the hell out of him. he was so nervous and excited, it just absolutely melted me. we video chatted that night, and it just…progressed from there. he flew out like two weeks after that, and the rest is history.

xoxo,
megan

Anonymous asked: What are your guys opinions on waiting until marriage to consummate a relationship?

Personally, I’ve never been in a relationship before this one that placed a whole lot of value on consummation. Or much value on anything really for a couple of them. So getting into this one, I absolutely love it. It puts so much more value behind it than just willy-nilly sexin’. I have had sex before, but with Megan, we decided we are going to wait. And it is worth it. It’s something amazing to look forward to that we’ll share one day when we’re married, maybe when we’re engaged. It’s all about preference, but it’s nice placing a little extra value behind something that has lost its integrity in the last few decades. (You know. It seems that way to me anyways. haha)

-Tony